Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

I recently got into my 14 yr old daughters "my space" and found evidence of drug and alchohol abuse and she is now extremely angry with me about confronting her and looking at her myspace which was set to private. what privacy should i allow a 14 yr old girl?

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

You are her parent and have ever right to monitor her myspace page. If she is participating in drug and alcohol use you have the right to know that as well. Perhaps you should start checking her cell phone too, and maybe even take her to planned parenthood because odds are if she is using drugs and alcohol she is probably having sex. Don't let her make you feel bad about something you have ever right to do in the first place. And btw, the only reason her profile is private is because she is so young. Myspace usually perfers that you at least be the age of 15 to have a page and they automatically make the page private because of her age.

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

Dont let her set private things on you remember you are the parent not her you decide whats good and wrong okay.

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

I think you did the right thing. As long as she is under your roof, you are responsible for taking the best care of her that you can. So privacy is a priviliege, not a right. As her parent, you need to know that your kid is acting responsibly. You need to know the kind of people she is hanging out with. I think what the first two people said here is really good advice. You should take her to Planned Parenthood, and you shouldn't let her set things to private. You should also make her take drug tests. I would also suggest that when things are less sour between you, you should encourage her to bring her friends over to the house more often, so that you can see for yourself the kind of people she hangs out with.

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

Fourteen year old kids do not have a right to privacy. I know that sounds harsh, and the kids most certainly don't like to hear it, but until they are old enough to be able to make responsible, safe decisions for themselves, then you as a parent are responsible to make decisions for them. You can't do that if you don't have access to every area of their life. See what happened when she had the "privacy" before? The only places they should have privacy is on the toilet and in their own bed alone. There should be nothing going on in a child's life that should be kept "private" from their parent or guardian. If they're hiding it from you, there's a reason.

Once they get to be adults, and can make mature decisions, and handle the consequences of those decisions, then they have a right to privacy.

Edit: If she was doing this with the knowledge and implied permission from her mother and her mother's boyfriend, then you need to get a lawyer and get that girl out of that home.

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

No this is not invasion of privacy. She is 14 years old and she is not an adult until the age of 18. She is not is the right state of mind to tell you you're invading her privacy. She is still a child. If she is living under your roof you have every right to know what your daughter is doing with herself.

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

With all the perverts and so forth on there you should have every right to protect your daughter from this,yes she will be angry at you at this time,but she will see it makes sence in the long run,,,,show her story's where other kids have got into this and where they are now,im sure she will understand your feelings,then good luckxxxx

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

One who is the parent, if she don't like you checking her myspace, you can call myspace and have her taken off..

2. who pays for the computer?

3. Doesn't she know every pervert, and molester in the country is looking at her

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

She is angry because she got caught. If it were me, she would lose computor privileges and be grounded, no more MySpace..

The computor should be in the livingroom or den leaving NO privacy. The internet is a dangerous place for young girls.

I would be less concerned with her privacy and more concerned with her safety. Drug and alcohol use by a 14 yr old is way out of line and needs to be confronted and stopped.

Your daughter is trying to distract you with her anger about her so-called right to privacy. The only privacy she has a right to is the privacy you choose to give her based on her behavior.

A private diary she writes in is one thing. Not dangerous. The World Wide Web is quite another. You have every right to monitor her behavior on the internet.

Sometimes in the interests of our childrens safety we have to deny them what they want and they will be angry. But we are the parents, not the friends.

Just tell her she has demonstrated that she is not yet responsible enough to have that level of privacy.

Good luck! Fourteen year old girls and their mothers are already natural enemies...lol But you have to stand firm. You are the Mom.

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

none take it from me I was 15 when I moved away from home and against all odds i was sucessful beyond most adults by the age of 19 BUT BIG BUT HERE looking back I couldve used a little more monitoring instead of closed eyes it would have helped me avoid alot of heartache on the way. Do I think that her drinking and doing drugs is the end of the world ...not necessarly... at that age weather you want her to or not she will experament and IM HONEST HERE NOW IS THE TIME, in my experiance my friends who did it then got over it and had there fun and moved on, the ones who didnt untill college got so carried away withh it (more money and oportunaties) that they got horrid marks, kicked out of their programs and some are alcoholics and drug addict (now Im not saying this will happen) but I am saying in this day and age it's the norm to try, limit the money you give her that she doesnt have to account for and she'll be fine trust me she cant get the money to get drunk daily or do drugs regularly unless you give it to her. Also you say drugs but what is she taking? has she tried to smoke a joint? or is it heroin and YES There is a difference, Im not saying dont give her **** Im just saying dont drive yourself nuts with worry I was doing what she did at 13-17 on of try with friends and today at 25 I DO NOT DRINK AT ALL and maybe once in a while I smoke a joint (I do not live in US so it's not as risky as there) and I make lots of $$$ Im in medschool (for fun it would be a paycut) and Im doing awsome.

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

A good parent knows what their child is into. A good parent knows that is it NOT wrong to monitor their child, especially online. There is NO privacy online. I monitor my children on it and will do so until they are out of my home or paying rent.

She needs space of her own, but there is a limit.

Do you know that she really has done those things? Could she be saying them to sound more "cool"?

If in fact she is doing those things, I'd get her out of that house immediately!

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

The mom and boyfriend are condoning this kind of behavior? You need to take her to live with you whether she likes it or not. Her so called "friends" are not friends if they are living the same life as her.

A 14 year old needs her space but at the same time she needs to have parental supervision which she obviosly isn't getting with her mother. I hope the boyfriend isnt supplying her this stuff in hopes to get her in bed.

She needs to be in a positive environment where people care for her. If and when she does come back with you then you need to have certain restriction on her and she will then need to gain your confidence (this cannot be done in a few days or months either)

Good Luck~

Teen drug and alchohol use on "myspace". is this invasion of privacy?

You did the right and wrong thing. I abused alot of the stuff and more then she is using. If she gets caught she will be thrown into juvie and will be held for a while if she's lucky they might give her probation. So you need to take it to court and get her a test. the second it's positive she will be set in your custody I garentee it. It will be alot better.